Christ Church Riverdale

15 Pentecost                                                                            September 21, 2003

Wisdom 1:16-2:1,6-22; Psalm 54; James 3:16-4:6; Mark 9:30-37

Many years ago, when I was starting out as a priest, I found myself on the staff of St. John’s Church in Larchmont.  One of my friends in the parish was a lawyer in a prominent New York firm.  Eric hadn’t been baptized, and we spent many hours talking about the faith.  He was skeptical about many things, but he decided on baptism, and became a leader of the parish.  More than once, he asked, “How is it possible for a lawyer to be a Christian?”!!  He was a wicked opponent at squash, and I’m sure he was equally aggressive representing his clients.  But there was another side to Eric – a compassionate and spiritual side.  He and a group of friends, when in law school, had vowed to take a year off when they turned 40, to rethink their lives and take stock.   He never did.  Kids in private schools and colleges; mortgage on a mansion.  It’s easy to get stuck.

What was my friend’s dilemma?  How does it clarify our dilemma?  What does fighting for a client against the interest of another, or seeking the kind of success which prevents a year of leisure, say about our faith?

In today’s gospel, Jesus again stresses suffering servanthood.   He predicts his own death.  We read that his disciples do not understand the saying.  In other words, they are so caught up in their world of seeking power that they can’t listen or hear what is being said.  They shut their minds and their hearts.  They don’t want to know.  They are afraid to ask, because they somewhere deep down know the answer.  They know that what they want is not God’s will.  When Jesus asks them what they were discussing on the road, they are silent, because they were discussing who would be the greatest in the kingdom Jesus would inaugurate, and they sense that this is contrary to what is being taught.  They are clueless, because the kingdom will not be of the world of power and success, but one of servanthood – a kingdom they can’t yet recognize or accept.

I’m not knocking the legal system, or the desire for comfort. The question is this:  “How do we want to live our lives?”  Do you represent a client whom you know to be guilty?  Do you lie to get a better job?  Do you pretend to be someone you aren’t in order to appear successful?  Do you purchase things that keep you in debt and add stress to your life?

The underlying question is, “What will make us truly happy? “

Jesus observed his disciples, and he knew that they were competitive with one another.  So he called a child to him, took the child in his arms, and said, “Whoever receives one such child in my name received me.”  Both Jesus and the child were powerless in this world, and both were innocent.

How is our innocence lost?  My little meditation book says this: “[The innocence of childhood is lost] when the child is infected with the desire to be somebody.”  Did you ever feel this pressure?  It pursued me for years, because of my impression of how respected my father was.  I had to be somebody, too, I thought.  The disciples sure have it: they fight over who will be first, who will be king of the hill.  I remember a friend across the street when I was growing up.  His name was Robbie Smith.  His father sold lawn equipment to golf courses, but Robbie insisted that his father was the fire chief.  Robbie wanted to be important.  As older children, we had already lost the innocence of earlier childhood.  My great embarrassment was to create with my friend Haynes a clubhouse in his carport.  We put up a sign with a message we had learned from the adults.  The sign said “Private club: Members only.”  When Carlisle Willard moved into Robbie’s house, I insisted that he not be allowed to join.  Later, I relented.  I had already been corrupted, and had to unlearn what I had been implicitly taught.

Christians aren’t supposed to worry about being somebody.  We already are through our baptism.  We learn that each human being is somebody.  A number of years ago, I went to the ordination of a Baptist in a small church in Staten Island.  The minister had earned his degree through a correspondence course, and the preacher came from Baltimore to give the sermon.  Again and again, he made the point: “I’m somebody!  Why?  Because a king died for me.”  This is the somebody we are.  We’re all equal in this somebodiness.  We don’t have to try to prove anything by the world’s terms.  The goal is to enjoy the gifts we have for the pure pleasure they bring.  And, in doing so, to serve.  We may receive laurels, and prizes and gifts and honors, but they will be as nothing to the pure pleasure of doing what we do.  This is the innocence which Jesus called the innocence of a child.  Not the child I described myself to be, but the little boy I was and the child we all were before we were drawn in and then had to unlearn the behavior which made us unhappy.

I love the title of the Romantic poem “Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood.”  There was a time in our lives when we were that close to God, before we became conscious of the world around us and what that world demands.  What God in Christ offers us is the opportunity to step back, recall those endless days of childhood, take a moment to be and not to strive, and thank God for God’s loving mercy.  And even, with some planning, to take a year off?  Wouldn’t that be something!

No one compels us to make the choices we make.  In the words of Deuteronomy: “Choose life.”

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